Do you ever find yourself in such strange situations, or situations in which you’re acting different to your usual self, and it feels like you’re not actually there? Instead you’re looking at it as a bystander. Like it’s your body doing it and not you?

I’ve found myself in too many of these situations lately. Usually when I’m not entirely comfortable with where I am, or when I need to put on a persona to get through an event.

I want to be fully present in every moment, but in order to keep myself happy I try too hard to look at everything objectively. With my head and not just my heart. And it works for the most part. I’m pretty good at forcing my mind to believe I feel a certain way about something.
It means I don’t get caught up in my emotions and break down. But it also means I often push my feelings to the back.

Will they explode one day?

Will I explode one day?

Lately I’ve found myself downloading more music than TV and movies. It marks a shift in my happy place from concentrating on characters and images, to letting myself go and feeling the happy instead.

I am a huge fan of both pop and metal. But more than anything I love mash ups and covers. I imagine this is a big part of the reason I love the TV show Glee so much.
Pop music covered by metal and alt bands kill me every time. Take something familiar and fun like Britney Spears’ Toxic and get a Ukrainian alt metal band to cover it with heavy guitars and just enough scream and I probably wouldn’t notice if Snape was standing at my door (maybe I should listen to this next time I get tattooed).

It was with much delight that I discovered the covers compilation albums ‘Rest In Peace’ then. I’ve managed to get volumes 3, 4, and 5 so far but volumes 1 and 2 are eluding me.

If you’re into this kind of greatness have a listen to my picks below and then try to get your hands on these albums!

Camisado – My Love (Justin Timberlake)

One-Way Mirror – Fuck You (Lily Allen)

Mushmellow – Toxic (Britney Spears)

Sick Puppies – Say My Name (Destiny’s Child)

A Smile From The Trenches – Hot N Cold (Katy Perry)

My last post was almost 3 weeks ago?! That’s fucking ridiculous and perhaps just the kick up the ass I need to show me how lazy I’ve been. The best cure for writers block is to just write something, anything, “they” say. So it’s worth a try.

Friday night saw my first party at 361, a K party (dress up theme, not ketamine sharing) in honour of my inhabitation of the flat. Smarty pants flatmate Jason set the up the photobooth he created to capture everyones costumes/inebriated states.

Here are a few goodies.

L to R: Kiki of Kiki’s delivery service (aka flattie Kate), Kermit (aka Michael), Karen O (aka flattie Sophie), Karl Lagerfeld (aka Laura), Koala (aka Emma); Kanye (aka flattie Jason), Karl Lagerfeld; Kleptomaniac (aka Stacey), Kate from Lost (aka ME); Klytemnestre (aka Jo).

L to R: K’ Rd hooker (aka Hannah), Kramer (aka Finn), Karen O; KGB officer (aka Karen), Jo; Me, King Midas (aka Ella, she was originally gold in another language but I can’t remember the language), Kate; Kaleidoscope (aka flattie Brendan), photobomber Stacey.

L to R: Laura (omg isn’t she perfect as Karl?!), pieces of Kermit; Karaoke queen (aka Beth), Stacey; Kelly (aka Kelly), Jo, Kink (aka Bad Tom); Kate, Sophie, Emma.

L to R: Kid (aka Anna), Jo, Tom; Flatties pre dress up – Me, Sophie, Kate, and photo bomber Jason; Me, Karen, Jo, Kim Thayil (aka Lisa); Michael, Laura, Me.

The ways creative people work, and get inspired, are as numerous as the creatives themselves. But as with everything there is a stereotype that fits: the tortured artist. One that both needs the pain of heartbreak and misunderstanding to create, and is heartbroken and misunderstood due to their creations. The vicious cycle seems to work for their art, but maybe not for their mental health.

I however am not a tortured artist. When I am tortured the creativity disappears. I need time, space, but most of all happiness to be creative. I need a fit mental state that is unburdened by destructive tendencies. When I feel bad I feel like crawling into a sheet fort and eating comfort food.

When I’m happy though, then I’m bursting with everything. I may be too busy to write, but I get hits of inspiration that leave me needing to use words. A new crush, amazing music, ridiculous times with friends when nothing is on your mind but the moment. Even the happiness of being completely comfortable and sated with my situation.

I need those days to create.

Those days are not an everyday occurrence anymore. But when they’re here they’re amazing.