The Enthusiastic Yes
Last week Rabbit wrote a fantastic post about grey areas of sexual consent. She discussed the notion that consent isn’t the opposite of rape, enthusiastic consent is. And it got me thinking about how this applies to everyday human interactions, not just sex.
How many times have you been talking to someone, whether you know them well or not, and they suggest doing something? A business venture, a night out clubbing, a coffee date, and while your heart isn’t in it you still say you’ll check your calendar or “yeah, I guess that could be ok” when you really want to say no.
Now think about how many times you’ve been the one asking the question. Where you’ve cajoled and coerced to get someone interested.
As someone that’s learnt most of what she knows about business from the internet I should be endorsing any number of pushy tactics to try and get people to listen. I should say that you never take no for an answer. But the reality is if someone isn’t interested then your emails and prodding will get you blocked and marked as spam. This particular customer or friend may never trust you again and they’ll never sign up to another newsletter that you’re involved in.
Always offer an unsubscribe link (metaphorical or actual) and make sure it works.
If your people aren’t enthusiastic about what you’ve got on offer you need to be able to take no for an answer. Take a step back, reassess what you’re offering and then let them know you’re available if they change their mind.
Have you ever naively stopped to talk with a Greenpeace volunteer and agreed to sign their petition only to be harangued for 20 minutes as he tries to sign you up for monthly donations? Despite protests that you’re self employed and don’t have a steady wage, that you’d rather he emailed the information he won’t let up. I have, and I’ll never stop to sign a petition with Greenpeace again for fear of not being able to get away.
Do you really have enough energy to expend on someone that’s not enthusiastic? Can you afford to have people avoiding you just so they don’t have to feel awkward saying no?
7 Responses to “The Enthusiastic Yes”
I think I always assume people are going to say no to me!
I know what you mean though. I particularly hate people who come to my door to try and persuade me to sign up to something and then attempt to “over come objections” in sales speak when I really just want to slam the door in their face!
I think this is so true, I was thinking about this the other day after my mum fended off a door to door salseman. I wish these people would open their eyes and see that this forced sales tacit is just such a turn off.
Very good point well made with the charity guy example! (I always avoid anyone with a clipboard in the street because of the same types of experiences)
Also I think the approach is just plain rude – stopping people going about their day to guilt them into parting with money they don’t have. Same with junk mail actually – it really pisses me off when people put their leaflets inside my house – it’s like hello! This is my sanctuary away from the world and I still can’t escape people trying to get me to part with my money! /rant
just about to write a reply when the phone rings and its a telemarketer who didnt like me saying ‘no sorry, i’m not interested.’ she kept talking and begging and i just hung up. seriously. no means no.
Yep, I must agree with sarah hannah….”No, I’m not interested” means JUST THAT! It’s a really stupid sales tactic to hound people like that, as for the majority of people, it just makes potential customers want to hit you over the head with a slab of concrete.
I try to be polite in such situations, but if they ignore and thus disrespect my wishes to be left alone, I will tell them to fuck off! It is just so enfuriatingly RUDE!
This definately made me think, and raises a really good point.. great post!
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