Not Ready
I’ve been trying so hard to be tough and nonchalant this week that I almost convinced myself I am those things. For a while I managed to think about having an amazing life as a single person and decorating a bedroom all of my own. Thinking about all the friends I can party with, about all the travelling I’ll do, about all the fun I could have meeting new guys.
And then tonight, my last night in Hamilton, I went out dancing. It was great fun. But saying goodbye to my friend it really started to hit me. Tomorrow I’m going back to Wellington. Tomorrow I really have to start sorting out my life, whatever it is going to be. Getting into my room at Mums I see she has left me a little box of chocolates and I burst into tears. I don’t want to go home. I’m not ready to be on my own.
19 Responses to “Not Ready”
I know it’s hard right now, but you can get through this. And we are all here for you.
[Reply]
I’m thinking happy for you today, darlin’. <3
[Reply]
Sending awesomesauce thoughts your way.
[Reply]
Thanks loves.
I wasn’t trying to get sympathy or anything (though I do appreciate your thoughts and <3). I just thought writing down what I was feeling in the moment might have been therapeutic. I don’t usually write this sort of stuff here so it’s interesting to see how more real life, almost diary style, writing goes down. And whether I should start a separate anonymous blog for that.
[Reply]
I fucking hate feeling like that, it really is terrible. You know what though, it WILL get better and you’re allowed to feel mopey for now<333
[Reply]
Sometimes it helps to get that stuff out, knowing how your feeling is such an important step. Thinking of you.
[Reply]
Aww its okay, you’ll love living by yourself and doing things how you want. It will make you feel free and more creative in life to do as you please. I know its hard letting go, I can’t find myself to move out either even though my boyfriend keeps asking me to move in with him. It’s hard to cut the umbilical cord for now.
[Reply]
I’m sorry kitten, I send you e-hugs.
[Reply]
oh sweetie i wish i could do something! ill be on my own this year too (boyfriend moving interstate) and im trying so hard to focus on the good things- the redecorating, the catching up with friends etc but ugh. its hard to keep it up, you know? thinking positive all the time.
i’m here for you bub xxx
[Reply]
Good for you for expressing your honest feelings here- it can be hard to do sometimes! If i lived closer, I’d give you big hugs <3
Know that things can only get easier in time, and bigger and better things await you. I do realise words like that are probably quite annoying and unhelpful right now! But just give it time, girl. I will get better <3
[Reply]
It’s okay to know that you won’t feel amazing right away, and there should be a time for feeling sad and moving on is allowed to be slow or however you want it to be. I wish I could give you a big hug and tell you that everything will be alright. ^_^ It will get better<3
[Reply]
Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to be tough and move on. It’s perfectly fine to cry darlin’ it’s tough times.. it’s like a new life starting all over again.. It is scary!
You’ll be OK of course but be gentle on yourself. Relationship break ups are some of the toughest times ever x
Writing it down does help I use my blog like a diary too :-)
[Reply]
I’m in the process of building a new blog (AGAIN. GOD.) that is more public, and using my current one as more of a diary-type deal. My current blog isn’t indexed by search engines or anything either, so the only way for people I know IRL to get to it is if I tell them or if they do some serious stalking. I’m doing it because I write a lot of things that I’d love to show my friends and family, but I also need an outlet that I’d prefer to keep private from people I know offline. I think it’s a good idea! & then of course there is even completely anonymous blogging which I think it great for some people, but personally I would find it kind of, IDK, lonely? I get it though.
[Reply]
Sweetie I have no words but I’m sending rays of comfort to you.
[Reply]
You know what the best thing about single and doing your own crafty shiz is? You can move city… or country even! The world is your oyster lady
Although there are rad types of the female kind in Welly. Allow them to look after ya for a while.
xo
[Reply]
awww kiiiimmmmm
Live through the pain dolls so then you can realise it doesnt last long, things happen for a reason because there are better and brighter things out there in the big old world and you are going to love it dont think of it as a single life think of it as Kims life and own every damn second chic you only have one chance ENJOY and dont look back
[Reply]
Cheer up, K :)
I’m sorry I haven’t checked your blog much lately, I’ve missed so much …
if you need anything, well, you can always com over to the Sunny Land (aka Spain) and relax! :) kidding, if you need anything, let us know!
[Reply]
Tears don’t mean you’re not strong or tough :)
Just in case you needed a reminder, YOU ARE.
xo
[Reply]
how are you going honey? ive had a hard week too. hugs all around xxx
[Reply]
Leave a Reply