Ever had a seagull on your left shoulder?

Um, no.

Ever had a magpie on your right shoulder?

Where is this going? No, I have never had any seagulls or magpies on either of my shoulders.

Ah, but I bet you’ve had a cock or two in your mouth though ay.

I wish I was a comedian. Even though I’d never have the guts to get over my intense fear of public speaking, with the thought that someone at the back of the room can actually see how hard my heart is beating through my shirt. But I’d love to be able to write like a comedian. Like Nicole from More is Better, I never skim her posts because she’s so fucking funny.

Tonight I was lucky enough to score a ticket to Comedy Divas. Seven hilarious lady comedians cracking jokes about stupid vegans; how they’re all totally sexy playas; and how homophobia would be more acceptable if it was like arachnophobia – The valid fear of finding a gay man in your bath tub. I do like Jim’s (female, funny lady) chosen name for the evening better than Comedy Divas though: Funny Cunts.

If you ever get a chance to see Justine Smith, Maeve Higgins, Irene Pink, Zoe Lyons, Jan Maree, Jim Stanton, or Sarah Harpur perform don’t hesitate. These ladies are amaze.