A few weeks back I noticed a cool sounding role advertised at Xero. They’re on my list of ‘places I want to work’ so even though I’ve no formal experience as a technical writer I decided to go for the technical writer position anyway. Well, it’s been a few weeks now with no response other than the automatic “we’ve received your email” email, so I feel fairly confident saying it was out of my league.

I halfheartedly applied for another web based role at the NZ Nurses Organisation and was completely surprised when I was called an interview. I haven’t been interviewed for a specific job in over 5 years so the only thing making me not throw up with nervousness was the expectation I wouldn’t get the role. They did have a few candidates with actual qualifications & experience so I didn’t get that one either, and while that’s the result I expected it’s always a bit of a punch in the guts to be rejected.

The day following rejection number one was revelatory though. The 30 day reinvention project is coming to an end and through a combination of story telling & asking the right questions I think I’ve figured out what I want to do with my life. (!!) I think I really figured it out quite a while back but didn’t have the words to express it succinctly.

I want to help creatives run THEIR dream businesses. I want to be the admin, the assistant, the book keeper, and the extra pair of hands. I want to photograph their art, pimp them out, and be in charge of the lawyers when people are horrible. The amount of pressure to perform on command as a “creative” is too much for me. I’m no good at self promotion or getting things done for myself. Ive always loved organizing things for others, playing with numbers, and meeting deadlines.

In the real world where almost no small time creatives in NZ have the money to pay a helper good money it means I’ll be gunning for great companies first, learning experiences second, and boring but secure and well paying jobs third. All options have benefits. There’s nowhere but up.