Adele of That’s What Your Mum Said keep an eye out for a bag of goodies winging your way shortly.

And everyone else keep an eye on Adele’s blog for your chance to get the parcel!

My name was drawn from a hat for a giveaway that the lovely Charlie of I’m a Bit of a Geek ran. It’s a giveaway that keeps on going, a kind of pay it forward affair.

In the spirit of surprise you don’t get to know what’s in the package until you win.
The winner receives the package, takes from it whatever they like, and then puts more stuff back in. Then they run the giveaway on their own blog and so it continues. Forever.

At the moment the package is quite large because it contains both clothing and accessories, so if someone outside of New Zealand or Australia wins I might split the package or hold back some of the bulkier items.

All you have to do is leave a comment letting me know you’d like to carry this on. The winner will be announced next Tuesday the 27th and then I’ll be giving away a couple of t shirts! :D

Forgive and forget is not a philosophy I can live by. I would love to be able to. Just like I’d love to be a clean freak, because then my house would be tidy instead of a pig sty. And if I loved to study I would have learnt other languages and be extremely educated by now.

But it’s just not me. I have a deep mean streak. Mum taught me that I should forgive people and that I should never say I hate someone because it’s a very strong word and you should never hate someone. I love my mum more than anything, and she’s almost always right, but she never taught me how to do those things.

While many people (especially women) will forgive I believe most won’t forget and will simply find a way to move on.
I am a master of moving on. Issues get put to the back of my mind and I’ll build trust again with a promise that there will be no repeat performances. The issue doesn’t go away though, it is done, and I am unlikely to forget your betrayal.
You only get the gift of a second chance if I really care about you though. Bosses who repeatedly burn me are forever trapped in the “I hate you” section of my brain. The I hate you section is likely to gain attention in the form of humiliating revenge and secret celebrations of your demise until you are out of my life forever.

My reason for non-forgiveness is simple – I have not bern given a good reason for what you did (or any explanation at all) and therefore there is no excuse. Have I got the wrong idea? Is that not what forgiveness is about? The dictionary cites ‘forgive’ as both to excuse a fault and to renounce anger or resentment.

Are you the forgiving or moving on type?

dancing in the rain + Feeble + a joyous assembly

My sister once had a friend who we nicknamed ‘Bigger, Badder, Meaner’ or BBM. Anything that Kris did she did bigger, with more money, and more people. They were only 6 or so, but even at that age no one likes one-upmanship. Those sorts of games cause insecurities. Stupid insecurities. And I’m here to tell you that life is not a pissing contest. You don’t have to have the biggest, bestest, everything to enjoy life.

I’m not prettier than you. I’m not skinny, I’m not the best cook, the best dresser, or the tidiest person around. I live in a small house, I don’t come from a wealthy family, I’m not university educated, I don’t know shit about politics. I can’t speak any language except English, I can’t play an instrument, and I can’t draw. I live an 8 hour drive from my family and I’ve only seen my youngest brother a couple of times each year since he was born. I live at the end of the Earth in a country with 4 million people and 40 million sheep, in a capital with a city centre that is so small you can walk from one end to the other in 20 minutes.

But despite all of that I love my life, I love that the older I get the more comfortable I feel about myself. I love knowing that if I do ever “make it” it’ll be from hard work.

I choose to look one the bright side.

I’m not prettier, but I have great manageable hair, big eyes and long dark eyelashes. I’m not formally educated, but I spent the time others spent at uni getting my first job and learning heaps while getting paid, plus I don’t have a huge loan. I don’t have a big house, so it’s easy to heat and there’s less to clean, I hate cleaning. I don’t see my family often, so every time I do see them is special, I love them very much. I live in a small country, making it easier to get noticed, and amazing if I get recognised in the International scene.

You have to make the most of what you’ve got. Moaning about your hand isn’t going to make it better. It’s great to have dreams, but don’t live in the what if and let your actual life pass you by.

1. shy ballerina., 2. Rock chick charisma

Kim is happy with her achievements so far but would love to do more with her life. Now that she’s not working for “The Man” she’s kinda shitting herself. A bit scared that she’s going to fail but defiant about succeeding. Insistence from family members and friends that it’ll be easy to go back if she fails leave her feeling half reassured and half like they don’t believe she can make it.

Ms Mace Constantine on the other hand is faking it till she makes it. Mace never takes any shit and would have quit her day job on a whim anyway. She doesn’t care what people think about her, and thinks that if most people don’t understand the culture of the Internet nerd that’s their own problem.

In our constant quest to better ourselves we break the person we want to be into little steps. Identifying the things we love, the things we want to be, and then pretending that we already have them. It’s easy to pretend when we’re online, when we’re with people we don’t know, or when we’re drunk.

When we act like someone else, we take on the persona of our alter egos. Anything bad that happens, happens to the alter ego. It can be shrugged off, discarded. We can abandon any personality traits that don’t serve us. We can also use an alter ego as a stepping stone in becoming more confident and adventurous. Eventually the things your alter ego does will be the things you do and become another facet of your personality. It’s like hiring a personality until you can make it full time.

So who are you really? And who do you want to be?

1. Run like hell!!!, 2. cracks, 3. Paris under the snow, 4. swarm1

• Have your say . Stick up for yourself at work or school, make sure you’re heard! Many people in life will warn you not to make trouble, that’s it’s not worth it. But in my experience everyone’s secretly hoping someone will have the balls to stand up to the bully.
• Remember that being able to do the basics really well is a lot more helpful than being able to do some complicated task mediocre. You’re not going to be an expert straight away when you’re learning something new. Knowing how to cook a few basic pasta dishes  will help you more in life than knowing how to make an 8 tier sponge cake from scratch. Learn to walk before you  run.
• When people ask what you do don’t feel obliged to answer with your job title. If you love your job that’s great, otherwise tell them you listen to music, bake, take photos, blog, or whatever else you choose to do with the time you have.
• Taking each day as it comes is advice often given to people depressed about their situation. That’s fine advice if you’re trying to get someone back from the ledge, but if you’re not quite at the suicide stage you need to do something now! Living for the weekend; for the next holiday; trying to drag yourself out of bed everyday is not really living.Find your passion, work hard, and actually live.

• Listen to music with the bass turned up
• Wear the right size underwear. If you don’t not only will you feel uncomfortable but so will the person behind you who can see your butt slowly being dissected into 4 pieces.
• Invite your friends over and supply them with all the junk food they could dream of
• Wear glitter all over!
• Smile
• Sew on the bus
• Sport fake tattoos
• Never underestimate the power that clean sheets can have on your mood (or your ability to sleep)
• Doodle while you’re on the phone
• Take mini road trips whenever you can
• Compliment others
• Compliment yourself