After almost 24 hours of labour Chickie Little’s little girl Abigail was delivered via c section this morning. I’m sure she’ll have all the gory details and plenty of pictures to share when she gets home after the weekend but for now I have a couple that Chickie’s hubby took. (photos like these are the reason I really want a DSLR camera, amaze)

Mummy and Baby

Me and Abby

Forgive and forget is not a philosophy I can live by. I would love to be able to. Just like I’d love to be a clean freak, because then my house would be tidy instead of a pig sty. And if I loved to study I would have learnt other languages and be extremely educated by now.

But it’s just not me. I have a deep mean streak. Mum taught me that I should forgive people and that I should never say I hate someone because it’s a very strong word and you should never hate someone. I love my mum more than anything, and she’s almost always right, but she never taught me how to do those things.

While many people (especially women) will forgive I believe most won’t forget and will simply find a way to move on.
I am a master of moving on. Issues get put to the back of my mind and I’ll build trust again with a promise that there will be no repeat performances. The issue doesn’t go away though, it is done, and I am unlikely to forget your betrayal.
You only get the gift of a second chance if I really care about you though. Bosses who repeatedly burn me are forever trapped in the “I hate you” section of my brain. The I hate you section is likely to gain attention in the form of humiliating revenge and secret celebrations of your demise until you are out of my life forever.

My reason for non-forgiveness is simple – I have not bern given a good reason for what you did (or any explanation at all) and therefore there is no excuse. Have I got the wrong idea? Is that not what forgiveness is about? The dictionary cites ‘forgive’ as both to excuse a fault and to renounce anger or resentment.

Are you the forgiving or moving on type?

What a week! Hugest order ever, birthday, birthday, derby, spewing, sunburn, candy, order, UPS guy. DONE.

With all of the extra excitement around here I neglected the blog more than usual last week. But do not worry. We are now returning to the usual late night postings and inane ramblings of a one Ms Constantine. Now bought to you by wireless keyboard (I’m so 2000 and late).

Friday the 2nd my big order for ModCloth got confirmed so we spent most of this week putting that together. Turns out I can’t handle that on top of normal orders and a blogging schedule and seeing how I get paid for the orders it was my blog that took the hit.

BIRTHDAY! Dinner was delicious (as always at Arashi) and Chickie Little made the most amazing cake! White chocolate mud cake with cream, chocolate, crushed maltesers, and a bit of baileys in the middle. It was so rich and amazing. And it was even decorated with pink sugar and cupcake candles. Best lady evah.

The Boy’s present was a wireless desktop set (keyboard and mouse) and a copy of The Matrix. It might seem like a lame present to some of you but let me just say the hunchback look is not a great one for a 24 year old (24!), and I was already well on my way before I got my laptop.
The Matrix has been on my 101 in 1001 list from the beginning. He also paid for dinner and candy on Sunday.

After dinner with friends I met up with a couple of cool ladies I found through blogging and twitter. It was awesome and we clicked straight away.

Saturday night involved more meetings with internet friends including Laura (from Friday night) and Jo (bottom left with the Perky Nah Nah supporter sign and stalkery necklace) two really great ladies that I love. I also got to have a brief chat with Katie who I also love and who is a skater in training. I started enjoying myself too much though and drank enough that I had to leave early and go spew in my hair.

Laura looking bad ass in her Smash Malice/Brutal Pageant crossover outfit

Thankfully the terrible stormy weather cleared up on Sunday and our picnic up the cost at Lindale went ahead as planned. We didn’t go to a farm show but We got Kapiti cheese and ice cream and The Boy bought me a whole bunch of candy! :D
The duckling and her mum kept us entertained for quite a while in the picnic area.

Finally the order got completed and packed. Now I just really hope the couriers pay attention to my fragile warning and everything arrives in the US in one piece.

Last year I was sick on my birthday. My best friend was also out of town, and I chose a tiramasu with far too much alcohol in it for desert.
A sucky birthday certainly wasn’t a taste of things to come though.

I’ve achieved so much this year. I grew this little blog into something I really love and found so many new friends while doing it. I finally decided what I want to do in my life (for the moment anyway), and I think that decision will mean working for myself or at least in a job I really love for the rest of my life.

I really started discovering who I am, where my lines in the sand are, what I’m ready to go into battle for. Recently I even started learning to embrace my figure and stop worrying about fitting into my old jeans. (thanks Natalie and Frances!)

This year has been great for socialising. The group of friends we had when we first moved to Wellington is back with us in a big way and intelligent discussion abounds amongst the drunken antics. I really love all the people I surround myself with.

The Boy has been amazing. Extremely supportive and encouraging. There is no way I could do this without him, and not just because of his Freehand skills and the fact he’s paying my bills.

It’s when he pulls out things like this that I really know he’s paying attention.

Last years present is on the wall behind The Boy.

That’s the wrapping paper for this years as yet unknown present. Present tally so far includes a lovely soft hand knit scarf, chocolates, a marshmallow bear lollipop, a funky candle, and a 2010 cupcakes diary. The Boy also went out in the pouring rain to get me some muffins, cheese, and bread so I have something nice to eat for breakfast and lunch.

Thanks for all your support and for making this year great!

***

Also – My ghosty necklace is in Etsy’s current voter honouring halloween items! Yay. It can’t really compete with the more expensive and amazing items though. If you’ve got an Etsy account and haven’t voted yet it would be a great birthday present if wee ghosty got a bit of love. And if you don’t have an Etsy account why not?!

No one can drag me away from cake!

• Desert is part of dinner. Especially dinners at restaurants and friends houses.
• All drinks are served in cans. Everything tastes better with a hint of metallic flavouring.
• People aren’t discriminated against because they are tattooed, pierced, or queer.
• The people who know what they’re doing make the decisions.
• More guys are nerd cool like the ones described on MLIA
• People stop thinking I’m weird because I work at night, I don’t want to be in the hot sun, and I don’t want a tan.

There’s a rule of thumb for dating where you divide your age by two and add seven and if your prospective date is younger than the result then they’re too young for you. By those standards it gives a 23 year old “permission” to date an 18 year old, but how often do you open yourself up to being friends with someone of that age?

Up until a few years ago when searching for new friends, even online, I would look for someone the same age as me with the same interests. It meant I didn’t even give myself a chance to talk to people 10 or even five years older than me because I’d already decided the age difference would make us incompatible for friendship. I assumed anyone that much older than me would think I was too young to hang out with them and anyone that much younger than me wouldn’t have the same life experiences and we wouldn’t have anything to share.

But how backwards is that thinking! It’s great to have a besty or two that are exactly like you, but it’s even better to find friends that you can learn something from. I met Chickie Little at work. Together we lamented about our bosses and hung out at work events and eventually got to know each other better and found that despite our five and a half year age gap we like many of the same things (and dislike the same things) and we are both in relationships and our partners get along well which makes double dating easy and movie nights easy. Chickie with her never age asian features often looks younger than me despite the ring on her finger and humongous baby bump, and her husband is a typical never grow old geek despite being in his early thirties.

Chickie has taught me a lot about baking and geeky stuff, things I wouldn’t have found in a friend if I kept looking for someone exactly like me. Other ex colleagues I consider friends are mothers, grandmothers, sporty, they all teach me something about who I am and bring unique perspectives to my life. I bring the perspective of a Gen Y’er to the relationship and let them know it’s ok to hate your job but you should do something about it, and that you’re allowed to challenge the status quo, and that a lot of 23 year olds are actually intelligent and self sufficient.

So next time you’re stuck talking to your workmate, teacher, boyfriends little sister, don’t think about age. Get to know them like you would anyone else. They might become a great friend.

Thanks to everyone who shared their neurosis over the last couple of days. We’re all in this together.

xx

When your bitch of a boss is making your life hell and then tells you her car got hit by a truck and that even though she’s fine it’s going to cost a lot of money to get fixed, and in your head you smile big and then go tell your colleagues. That’s Schadenfreude.

Isn’t it a beautiful German word?

• Mini panics when I suddenly think I’ve only got one day left in my weekend till I have to go back to my horrid workplace. Obviously working in a nasty office left deeper scars than I’d realised.
• Finding out I’m a night owl and my body would rather sleep until 2pm and then stay awake till 3am than get up with everyone else.
• Not feeling the need to feed my face constantly. I’m eating probably half of what I was eating when I was in the office. No more eating to cure the boredom, no more left over cake in the staffroom. I often have my first meal of the day at about 4pm now. (um, except for last week where I ate almost 3 blocks of chocolate, a box of popcorn, two ice creams, a bag of lollies, cheese and crackers, and fish and chips)
• Becoming a bit of a recluse. I haven’t been leaving the house unless we’ve been invited out somewhere, so I often leave the house only once or twice a week. Many days I live in a dressing gown because I don’t see the point in getting dressed!
• An obsession with the Gilmore Girls. Now that I have no office these ladies are my workmate replacements.
• Wanting to/having the time to bake again.

And some expected side effects: losing the bags under my eyes, not having such dry skin due to air conditioning, being happy!