Thankfully I have some beautifully talented readers to take up the slack when I feel like I need a holiday from blogging! Corrine ever so kindly stepped up to the plate with this gem today and I’ll bet it’s something we can all relate to. I have girl crushes on so many of you btw. x

By Corrine, www.frockandrollonline.com

Have you ever experienced a ”girl crush”? You have? EXCELLENT! I can now dedicate what WOULD have been an entire paragraph on definitions to instead discussing possibly more important things, like ice-cream. Gosh, I love ice-cream.

Okay, enough fooling around already! (Or Ms Constantine will surely never let me guest post here again.) Coined to describe ”feelings of admiration and adoration which a girl has for another girl, without wanting to shag said girl. A nonsexual attraction, usually based on veneration at some level” (why thank-you, Urban Dictionary!), it’s likely that you’ve spent some time with the emotion if you’ve ever marvelled at a friend’s amazing ability to style herself, coveted her phenomenal skill at attracting men folk or found yourself remarking ”why can’t I be just like her?!” in reference to a female acquaintance.

While it can almost sound like a negative experience, actually? It’s not. At ALL. In fact, it can even serve as an amazing opportunity to harness the EXACT fabulous qualities that you’d like to possess for yourself. For example, if you’re green with envy over another girl’s seemingly perfect physique, why not use the situation as pure inspiration to develop an exercise routine of your own that you’ll love? If it’s Jessica’s astounding social circle that has you feeling a little begrudging, why not work the issue to your best advantage by deciding to improve your own friendships? If it’s Ashley’s dazzling smile that you hold in such high regard, why not practice being as happy, friendly and charming as possible, and beam at everyone that you see?

Conjure up the very image of your personal girl crush, or think of the most fascinating female that you know. What is it about her that makes her so mesmerising and truly delightful, and more importantly, what can you learn from her?

Whether it’s something that you want to establish immediately, or would like to incorporate as part of your 2010 resolutions, light up the room. Astonish everyone around you with your sparkling conversation skills. Thrill with your kind demeanour. Enchant with your sense of humour. BE the very girl that you admire the most, and watch as you blossom into the very best version of yourself that you can possibly be.

Corrine blogs about fashion, self improvement, and everything in between at her cleverly named blog Frock and Roll.

Last week Rabbit wrote a fantastic post about grey areas of sexual consent. She discussed the notion that consent isn’t the opposite of rape, enthusiastic consent is. And it got me thinking about how this applies to everyday human interactions, not just sex.

How many times have you been talking to someone, whether you know them well or not, and they suggest doing something? A business venture, a night out clubbing, a coffee date, and while your heart isn’t in it you still say you’ll check your calendar or “yeah, I guess that could be ok” when you really want to say no.

Now think about how many times you’ve been the one asking the question. Where you’ve cajoled and coerced to get someone interested.

As someone that’s learnt most of what she knows about business from the internet I should be endorsing any number of pushy tactics to try and get people to listen. I should say that you never take no for an answer. But the reality is if someone isn’t interested then your emails and prodding will get you blocked and marked as spam. This particular customer or friend may never trust you again and they’ll never sign up to another newsletter that you’re involved in.
Always offer an unsubscribe link (metaphorical or actual) and make sure it works.

If your people aren’t enthusiastic about what you’ve got on offer you need to be able to take no for an answer. Take a step back, reassess what you’re offering and then let them know you’re available if they change their mind.
Have you ever naively stopped to talk with a Greenpeace volunteer and agreed to sign their petition only to be harangued for 20 minutes as he tries to sign you up for monthly donations? Despite protests that you’re self employed and don’t have a steady wage, that you’d rather he emailed the information he won’t let up. I have, and I’ll never stop to sign a petition with Greenpeace again for fear of not being able to get away.

Do you really have enough energy to expend on someone that’s not enthusiastic? Can you afford to have people avoiding you just so they don’t have to feel awkward saying no?

There’s a rule of thumb for dating where you divide your age by two and add seven and if your prospective date is younger than the result then they’re too young for you. By those standards it gives a 23 year old “permission” to date an 18 year old, but how often do you open yourself up to being friends with someone of that age?

Up until a few years ago when searching for new friends, even online, I would look for someone the same age as me with the same interests. It meant I didn’t even give myself a chance to talk to people 10 or even five years older than me because I’d already decided the age difference would make us incompatible for friendship. I assumed anyone that much older than me would think I was too young to hang out with them and anyone that much younger than me wouldn’t have the same life experiences and we wouldn’t have anything to share.

But how backwards is that thinking! It’s great to have a besty or two that are exactly like you, but it’s even better to find friends that you can learn something from. I met Chickie Little at work. Together we lamented about our bosses and hung out at work events and eventually got to know each other better and found that despite our five and a half year age gap we like many of the same things (and dislike the same things) and we are both in relationships and our partners get along well which makes double dating easy and movie nights easy. Chickie with her never age asian features often looks younger than me despite the ring on her finger and humongous baby bump, and her husband is a typical never grow old geek despite being in his early thirties.

Chickie has taught me a lot about baking and geeky stuff, things I wouldn’t have found in a friend if I kept looking for someone exactly like me. Other ex colleagues I consider friends are mothers, grandmothers, sporty, they all teach me something about who I am and bring unique perspectives to my life. I bring the perspective of a Gen Y’er to the relationship and let them know it’s ok to hate your job but you should do something about it, and that you’re allowed to challenge the status quo, and that a lot of 23 year olds are actually intelligent and self sufficient.

So next time you’re stuck talking to your workmate, teacher, boyfriends little sister, don’t think about age. Get to know them like you would anyone else. They might become a great friend.

It wasn’t until a few months ago that I realised how important it is to answer comprehensively when you’re asked what medications you’re on. The optometrist/dentist/gynaecologist etc isn’t being weird when they ask you, they’re asking so they can keep you safe and give you the best care. They’re not going to judge you because you’re on the pill (and if they do you should find yourself a new provider), and if you are on it, you should be including it in the list of medications you’re on along with your over the counter hay fever tablets and the aspirin you take a few times a week.

I realised how widely the pill can affect your body when I discussed contacts with my optometrist recently. We talked about my dry eyes and how they get irritated really easily when I wear contacts, and that liquid tears don’t seem to help. He asked if I was on the pill and it all made sense when he said that being on the pill can cause dry eye symptoms. A medication that affects your body so much it thinks it’s pregnant when it’s not it is bound to affect other areas of your body. It’s something us ladies taking oral contraceptives need to be aware of.

Don’t be ashamed.

A myth about “the pill”

You do not need to take a break from it. The biggest myth about the pill is that it’s unhealthy for you to be on it for long periods of time, and that it can cause infertility. That’s a pile of crap, you are able to get pregnant immediately after you stop taking the pill. That includes times where you don’t ingest it properly due to illness. Women that have trouble getting pregnant after coming off the pill would have had trouble getting pregnant anyway, especially if they’re now in their late thirties and prime child bearing age has passed.

In fact, the only reason there is a 7 day sugar pill section in every 28 day pack is because it was thought women would adjust to it easier if they still got their period. If you are on a pill with steady dosage you can quite easily take 2-3 packs in a row and get your period 4-6 times a year instead of 12. That’s what I do.

Opening an Etsy shop can be as frivolous or intensive experience as you want it to be. It really depends on how serious the craft business is to you.

If you’re looking to make Etsy an important part of your business there are HEAPS of articles available. A simple Google search or even better a browse around the Etsy forums or The Storque will give you lots of information on every aspect you can think of. Following links from all of the posts currently out there will keep you occupied for days and I’m also more than happy to answer any specific questions you’ve got about the points in this post, or your shop in general.

With all that information on hand and your Etsy Sellers Handbook on the ready I don’t feel like there is any real need for me to go into depth about starting a shop. So here’s a brief guide to getting started with some of the lessons I’ve learnt so far.

What are you called?

First things first. Once you’ve chosen your product, and assessed if there is a market (knitwear FYI doesn’t tend to do well on Etsy, and there is already a saturated jewellery market so yours better have a unique point) you’ll need to pick a name. If you’re already an Etsy member and you signed up with a name that has nothing to do with your brand then you’re going to have to sign up again sorry. Hopefully you have a different email address you can assign your old login to so you can sign up again, if not you’ll need to contact Etsy direct to get them to close your other login. Login names can’t contain any spaces so if you’ve got more than one word in your name start them all with capital letters. It makes it easier to read. Mine is CupcakesAndMace.
Search around Etsy and the web to make sure you’re not infringing on anyone’s brand. Think of something memorable, easy to spell, and potentially a good search term. If you’re a blogger you’ll be familiar with this process as you would have had to do it when you came up with your blog name or domain name.

What do you look like?

Next you’ll need to create a banner and avatar. Along with your shop name and product photos these will be how Etsy users identify you and your brand. It’s better to use one of your best product photos as your avatar and not a picture of yourself. When you participate in the Etsy forum other members will see your picture and a great product shot might entice them to check out your wares.

What will you do?

Get your policies sorted before you start listing product. Which countries are you going to ship to, are you/can you offer wholesale and if so what are your terms, what happens if something gets lost or broken in the post, is insurance extra, how will you accept payment, when do you expect payment, can you do custom or altered pieces? There are lots of things to think about and you can’t expect people to stick around if you don’t have an answer for them.

How will you present yourself?

Make sure you have your packaging sorted before you make your first sale. It needs to be sturdy enough to withstand the brutalities of any one of the worlds postal systems. Little known fact is that postal workers jump on piles of packages for fun. Make your package waterproof, address it correctly with a return address and include all necessary custom documentation. Don’t bow to pressure to fudge these documents because it could get you into some trouble.

What are you worth?

Pricing is very controversial but very important. I have a spreadsheet that I use to price my work and it’s something you should definitely think about too. It should take into account the cost of materials, packaging and fees. How long it takes to create, making sure to include time for taking photographs, trips to the post shop, listing the item and any other time you spend working. Multiply that time by your hourly rate. Add on your expected profit percentage. And you have your wholesale rate.
This is the rate you’ll sell to wholesale customers, people with their own business who will resell your items for profit. Standard practice is that wholesale is 50% of retail price, and wholesale customers will have to buy a certain amount from you to get the discount.
The wholesale rate is not the price you use on Etsy. You’ll need to multiply your wholesale rate by two to get your retail price. This is the price you’ll sell on Etsy for. Hopefully it meets current market expectations or is unique enough to sell at whatever price you’ve come up with. If it’s too expensive and you’re looking to make money you might need to reconsider your product, the materials, or the discount you give to wholesalers. Don’t ever sell yourself short though. Even if you’re doing this as a hobby remember that others are doing it for a living and if you undersell them too much they’ll get bitter.

How do I find you?

The title, description, and tags in Etsy are all very important as well. Searching on Etsy is defaulted to searching through titles and tags. Make sure your title is descriptive (but doesn’t look like a spammy list of search terms) and use all 14 of your tags! Use them, every time!

Oooo pretty!

The most important thing of all in my opinion is your photos. People like to buy things from professionals, if your photos look good they will automatically make your product seem more valuable and professional. Show your product from every necessary angle. You need to show the customer what they would see if they were holding your product.
Great photos might also get you featured in blogs, and on the Etsy home page.

Alright so now you know the basics, you need to go ahead and do it. If you have any questions or would like a post on a specific point of selling on Etsy let me know in the comments.

Leggings are not a substitute for pants. Please stop taking your fashion advice from Lindsay Lohan and start thinking for yourself.

Before you leave the house look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself these questions:

• Am I wearing leggings?
• Are my “pants” really tight, thin and stretchy?
• Do my “pants” accentuate my crotch?

If you answered no to all of those questions you have reached the end of the questionnaire.
Feel free to leave the house and be seen in public.

If you answered yes to any of those questions continue with these:

• Am I wearing a large/long top that covers my ass and crotch?
• Am I wearing a skirt/dress/shorts/pants?
• Am I leaving the house in order to go running or go to the gym only?

If you answered yes to any of these questions you have reached the end of the questionnaire.
Feel free to leave the house and be seen in public.

If you answered no to all of those questions please go back to bed and try dressing yourself again when you have had some rest.

1. Run like hell!!!, 2. cracks, 3. Paris under the snow, 4. swarm1

• Have your say . Stick up for yourself at work or school, make sure you’re heard! Many people in life will warn you not to make trouble, that’s it’s not worth it. But in my experience everyone’s secretly hoping someone will have the balls to stand up to the bully.
• Remember that being able to do the basics really well is a lot more helpful than being able to do some complicated task mediocre. You’re not going to be an expert straight away when you’re learning something new. Knowing how to cook a few basic pasta dishes  will help you more in life than knowing how to make an 8 tier sponge cake from scratch. Learn to walk before you  run.
• When people ask what you do don’t feel obliged to answer with your job title. If you love your job that’s great, otherwise tell them you listen to music, bake, take photos, blog, or whatever else you choose to do with the time you have.
• Taking each day as it comes is advice often given to people depressed about their situation. That’s fine advice if you’re trying to get someone back from the ledge, but if you’re not quite at the suicide stage you need to do something now! Living for the weekend; for the next holiday; trying to drag yourself out of bed everyday is not really living.Find your passion, work hard, and actually live.

I’ve just taken the plunge and purchase Sarah Prout’s ‘Secret of an Online Empress’, Sarah seems like a pretty cool chick. I like the design of her website and she sounds like she’s doing well for herself, so I thought this ebook could offer some insight and tips on making more of an online presence for myself.

Unfortunately it didn’t live up to the hype I’d created. I think it would be great for someone brand new to the blogging or online marketing world, but that’s not me. I’ve read a lot of stuff about online marketing from many different free websites and ebooks which provide much of the same information.

There were a couple of social networking sites that I hadn’t heard of that I’ve decided to sign up to, but there were also a couple of links that didn’t work at all.
Most disappointing were the references to the book ‘the secret’. While gratitude and positive thinking are important in order to create the right mindset to get what you need, the “law of attraction” advice is not something I want to pay for when trying to learn business secrets.

Sarah offers a full refund for anyone not happy with the book which she gave to me promptly after I emailed her. I did ask to swap it for an ebook copy of her other book Sprout the Life You Love if she had one (currently only available in hardcopy) but she didn’t answer my question. Must be doing well for herself to ignore my request to let her keep my money!

I’m still interested in getting a copy of Sprout the Life You Love if you’re reading this Sarah :D

The second ever “Because You Asked” post where I give some guidance to people who have searched for something and been led here, or where I laugh at strange searches.
The first “Because You Asked” was all about Katherine Moennig/Shane McCutcheon. I still get heaps of traffic from people searching for her.

• Pirate cupcakes – You will find pirates and cupcakes individually on Cupcakes and Mace but you’ll have to look elsewhere for actual pirate cupcakes. For pictures of pirate cupcakes have a look at Cupcakes take the cake, Blue cupcake, Flickr, Flickr, and more Flickr. You can also get a pirate cupcake jersey or some pirate cupcake stickers!
• pretty 11 year old cup cakes – Ew, I think your going to have trouble finding 11 year old cupcakes that are anything but disgusting.
• suspenders buy wellington – I got my rainbow suspenders from Too Cheap on the Courtenay Place end of Manners Street, they’re quite small, kids size I suspect. Spacesuit on Cuba Street also sell them for about $15 I think.
• yo benhi hil – Were you going to say “Yo, Benhi’s hilarious!”? Well yea, I have to agree. Have you seen her Foolery Four comic?
• do i 2 days off work for a colonoscopy – Do you need to take two days off work for a colonoscopy? For the two days prior to the colonoscopy that you are taking a laxative I would definitely take the time off work. The laxative is horrible to drink and starts working pretty quickly! The day after the colonoscopy you can go back to work as long as there were no complications. You’ll should recover as soon as the sedative has worn off.
• sex mace – Really can’t help with this. Really don’t want to. I’m scared to Google it, and it sounds painful!

• Listen to music with the bass turned up
• Wear the right size underwear. If you don’t not only will you feel uncomfortable but so will the person behind you who can see your butt slowly being dissected into 4 pieces.
• Invite your friends over and supply them with all the junk food they could dream of
• Wear glitter all over!
• Smile
• Sew on the bus
• Sport fake tattoos
• Never underestimate the power that clean sheets can have on your mood (or your ability to sleep)
• Doodle while you’re on the phone
• Take mini road trips whenever you can
• Compliment others
• Compliment yourself