There’s a rule of thumb for dating where you divide your age by two and add seven and if your prospective date is younger than the result then they’re too young for you. By those standards it gives a 23 year old “permission” to date an 18 year old, but how often do you open yourself up to being friends with someone of that age?

Up until a few years ago when searching for new friends, even online, I would look for someone the same age as me with the same interests. It meant I didn’t even give myself a chance to talk to people 10 or even five years older than me because I’d already decided the age difference would make us incompatible for friendship. I assumed anyone that much older than me would think I was too young to hang out with them and anyone that much younger than me wouldn’t have the same life experiences and we wouldn’t have anything to share.

But how backwards is that thinking! It’s great to have a besty or two that are exactly like you, but it’s even better to find friends that you can learn something from. I met Chickie Little at work. Together we lamented about our bosses and hung out at work events and eventually got to know each other better and found that despite our five and a half year age gap we like many of the same things (and dislike the same things) and we are both in relationships and our partners get along well which makes double dating easy and movie nights easy. Chickie with her never age asian features often looks younger than me despite the ring on her finger and humongous baby bump, and her husband is a typical never grow old geek despite being in his early thirties.

Chickie has taught me a lot about baking and geeky stuff, things I wouldn’t have found in a friend if I kept looking for someone exactly like me. Other ex colleagues I consider friends are mothers, grandmothers, sporty, they all teach me something about who I am and bring unique perspectives to my life. I bring the perspective of a Gen Y’er to the relationship and let them know it’s ok to hate your job but you should do something about it, and that you’re allowed to challenge the status quo, and that a lot of 23 year olds are actually intelligent and self sufficient.

So next time you’re stuck talking to your workmate, teacher, boyfriends little sister, don’t think about age. Get to know them like you would anyone else. They might become a great friend.