Oh yes, we love our tuberculosis jokes in the Cupcake Factory (see: The Boy always shortened to TB on twitter).

I’m not actually suggesting you try to kill someone by infecting them with TB I’m making a very grown up suggestion (again) that you stop cluttering your friends and families houses gift shop trinkets and candles because you really had no idea what to get them. Instead you should be gifting consumables. Great gifts that will leave nothing but memories in the end.

Even in a recession many childless couples and singles are in a position to buy themselves whatever takes their fancy, they don’t need to wait for gifts or an increase on their credit limit, they just buy. But if they’re anything like me they’ll be buying chocolate, but never a box of the really good ones; the wine but nothing above $20; and the only foliage in the house is plants, not flowers. You see where I’m heading with this?

There is only one week till giftmas day! I know right, I have never been this disorganised before leaving on holiday in my life. I have 2 days to clean all my clothes and pack up my life for three weeks.

Just in case you’re a slacker like me this year here are some ideas for last minute gift buyers without a clue what to grab.

• Hampers Great for food lovers, fill a decorated box (easier to get rid of, and cheaper, than a wicker basket) with chocolates, olives, nuts, and sauces.
• Alcohol Be a gracious guest this holiday season and provide some lovely wine to drink. It doesn’t have to be too expensive, your host will be stoked that you appreciate them.
  Or if you have 17 year olds in your life you’ll go own in history as the best sister/aunt/mum ever if you provide the just under ageds with something that will get them wasted.
• Subscriptions Magazines, dvd rentals, cheese of the month. It’s the gift that keeps on giving!
• Cleaning I would LOVE someone to come scrub my kitchen and bathroom – unless the recipient is a clean freak that doesn’t need a break in that department I wouldn’t worry too much about offending.
  Or you could offer to clean mum’s house in preparation for guests, she’ll really appreciate your help!
• Homemade treats Chinese takeout boxes can be bought for cheap and filled with homemade treats like sugar cookies, truffles, and fruit mince pies.
• Lessons Cooking lessons (available at every price point), language, dancing, photography. Won’t clutter the house but will stick with them for life!
• Tattoos What could be more special than paying for a much wanted permanent artwork that your recipient will carry for life? I say nothing.
• Body care While usually an intensely personal item if you know your recipient well, or spend a lot of time in their bathroom, you’ll probably know what products they use. Buy those. Moisturiser can be expensive yo.
• Geek stuff If you’re a geek you could create your bestie a site of her very own. Buy your travelling friend a subscription or renewal to Flickr so you can keep an eye on the snaps. Surprise your internet buddy with her very own .com so she can get rid of the blogspot part of her address.
• Vouchers If all else fails vouchers of any kind trump incense and ceramic kittens. Make it personal by giving a voucher to their favourite clothing shop, a meal at their favourite restaurant, or iTunes money for your music obsessed little brother. Other great vouchers include food, spa treatments, movie tickets, and those booklets from your boyfriend that you can use at any time and he has to do what it says.

What’s your favourite consumable?

Well a lot of things really. I’m way way WAY over my current self imposed budget and I haven’t even started shopping for gifts yet! It’s a busy time of year for socialising, we had a week away in which I couldn’t resist the sales, my phone died and I had to buy a new one, and I have a tattoo appointment coming up.

Here are some of the things I’d buy myself if money wasn’t an issue.

Tattoos – I’m getting one on December 14 anyway, but it’d be nice if I had unexpected spare money to pay for it. It’d be great to get a tattoo fund started for my future tatts too!

DSLR Camera – This is going to stay on my list till I get one.

Candy and other delicious foods – I’m a big fan of food. I would call myself a foodie but I’m pretty sure you have to be discerning to be a foodie. And I think you also have to like to cook. Anyway, I love candy and chocolate and cookies. And cheese and olives and nuts. If you’re looking for something easy and cheap get me (or make me) this!

Pencil skirts and capris – Great all year round but-as with everything that’s not in fashion-hard to find. I think a spot of op shopping will be needed in my holiday.

Reading light – A carry over from my birthday, so I don’t disturb The Boy when I want to read in bed.

Hip flask – I’m not a big fan of wine or beer. I’ll drink them, but mostly because it’s easy when visiting friends. I much prefer to drink spirits but there is no way I’d get through even half a bottle in a night. So I’m faced with a dilemma, do I take a whole bottle with me and hope it doesn’t get used by everyone else, or do I take a small amount in a drink bottle and look miserly? A hip flask totally solves the problem, I can be selfish (hey, we’re not exactly swimming in money these days!) and not look like a douche. In fact hip flasks are quite sophisticated.
Just make sure it’s a 6oz flask, I’d like to get more than one drink out of it!

Slanket – It’s the wrong season for this snuggly blanket, but come winter I’d be all up in it. A blanket with arms, who wouldn’t love one. And I have it on good authority (Princess Lasertron told me) that these are way better than snuggies.

Hair clips – They make me look as young as I feel!

Sock garters and fun socks – I never wear stockings so garters don’t seem to be of any use, I always wear socks though and I like them to have a bit of fun and colour. I have a feeling sock garters are going to become popular again in the near future, but I want them so my socks don’t fall down.

Glee soundtracks + Lady Gaga’s The Fame: Monster – These may have to be another present to myself so that I can sing them loudly on our holiday road trip. (In our new car that has speakers that actually work properly :D)

Tights – I am still in deep love with tights. I own 4 black pairs (2 thick and 2 thin) and a pink pair. I need more! It’s really hard to find any that are long enough so I adore my thin pairs as they have stirrups. I’d really like some summer tights that stop above the knee, and maybe a pair made of lace. Fancy.

In reality I don’t expect any of this (except maybe some candy, it’s my life blood). It’s nice to have, but I don’t need it. I’m more excited about taking a break and spending time with my family.

What are you hoping for this year?