Forgive and forget is not a philosophy I can live by. I would love to be able to. Just like I’d love to be a clean freak, because then my house would be tidy instead of a pig sty. And if I loved to study I would have learnt other languages and be extremely educated by now.

But it’s just not me. I have a deep mean streak. Mum taught me that I should forgive people and that I should never say I hate someone because it’s a very strong word and you should never hate someone. I love my mum more than anything, and she’s almost always right, but she never taught me how to do those things.

While many people (especially women) will forgive I believe most won’t forget and will simply find a way to move on.
I am a master of moving on. Issues get put to the back of my mind and I’ll build trust again with a promise that there will be no repeat performances. The issue doesn’t go away though, it is done, and I am unlikely to forget your betrayal.
You only get the gift of a second chance if I really care about you though. Bosses who repeatedly burn me are forever trapped in the “I hate you” section of my brain. The I hate you section is likely to gain attention in the form of humiliating revenge and secret celebrations of your demise until you are out of my life forever.

My reason for non-forgiveness is simple – I have not bern given a good reason for what you did (or any explanation at all) and therefore there is no excuse. Have I got the wrong idea? Is that not what forgiveness is about? The dictionary cites ‘forgive’ as both to excuse a fault and to renounce anger or resentment.

Are you the forgiving or moving on type?