I’ve been trying so hard to be tough and nonchalant this week that I almost convinced myself I am those things. For a while I managed to think about having an amazing life as a single person and decorating a bedroom all of my own. Thinking about all the friends I can party with, about all the travelling I’ll do, about all the fun I could have meeting new guys.

And then tonight, my last night in Hamilton, I went out dancing. It was great fun. But saying goodbye to my friend it really started to hit me. Tomorrow I’m going back to Wellington. Tomorrow I really have to start sorting out my life, whatever it is going to be. Getting into my room at Mums I see she has left me a little box of chocolates and I burst into tears. I don’t want to go home. I’m not ready to be on my own.